Welcome to My Life

Bell's Palsy

2008-02-27T05:48:00.003-05:00

I really don't understand why shit keeps happening to me. Sunday night I went to the ER because I couldn't feel my face. Something was way off.

Our town is a hick town. Drunks, drug addicts, all around crazy people. I got stuck in the waiting room with them. One woman brought her whole damn family (and more kept showing up) while she sat there and screamed at people and hacked bloody phlegm in an emesis basin as LOUD as she could. Gross. A guy came in who was so incredibly sick he had to keep going outside to chat on his cell phone and kept coming back inside bitching about the wait while his girlfriend was sitting there pale, shaking, and just ghastly looking. She went back long before he did, he was none too pleased.

The transport guy who took me to CT before I got a room was a complete jerk. He decided he would bitch to me about how his "bitch of a coworker" faked sick and he was the only transport person in the ER that night. Then he proceeded to say "damnit why don't you smile" to me, to which I responded that I couldn't and to please just leave me alone. I didn't want to be rude to him but I just wasn't enjoying his company at all. Good thing my CT scan only took a few minutes.

I got a room finally and waited around for a doctor who was really great, and diagnosed me with Bell's Palsy. The right side of my face is pretty much paralyzed. I had NO IDEA that the ear pain and disgusting taste in my mouth that I'd been having for a few days was really the beginning of Bell's Palsy but alas, it was. I got prednisone and valtrex and was about to be sent on my way when they decided they wanted to take my BP. The HORROR associated with that is something I won't soon forget. The cuff just kept INFLATING. My arm turned blue and I got the pins and needles feeling in my arm and it just kept inflating. The nurse kept saying "relax your arm or it'll just get tighter!" I know she meant well, but relaxing your arm when it feels like something is about to crush it just doesn't happen easily.

By that point, I'd had enough. Overwhelmed by the fact that I had a paralyzed face and the blood pressure cuff leaving red marks all over my arm that are still there, I cried. I have a feeling when I left the 2 nurses were laughing at me for crying over a BP cuff, but I really don't care. I love MOST nurses, my best friend is a nurse, but there comes a point where it just becomes too much to handle all at one time.

On top of everything else, my grandmother was admitted to the hospital today. NOTHING seems to be going right for me anymore. Sometimes I just want to give up.

I took some pics of what the BP cuff did to my arm, but it's kind of hard to see because I was trying to take the pics of my own upper arm. It's harder than I thought.

Pilonidal Troubles Continue

2008-02-27T05:45:00.002-05:00

After having a wound that refused to heal and after seeing 3 different surgeons in the area, I ventured 2 hours away to see a Dr. who specializes in the Bascom Cleft Lift. I had this surgery January 7th. Everything went well until recently when I keep developing superficial holes. The surgeon is absolutely great and he's doing everything he can. I don't understand why my body keeps doing this to me.

Lego Me!

2007-08-12T23:49:00.001-04:00

3 months...

2007-08-09T20:04:00.000-04:00

It's been 3 months today since my pilonidal cyst was removed. 3 long months, and I'm still not healed. I seem to be progressing backwards. I have 2 open wounds, one very small hole at the top then a bridge of skin, and a larger open wound at the bottom. The top hole was pretty much healed until recently. It opened up again and is 2mm deep. The bottom hole hasn't made any progress in healing for a month now. It's looking more like I'm going to need a flap surgery to fix it. Of course, school starts on the 29th and it'll take probably until that week to get scheduled for another surgery.

It's very depressing waiting and hoping for something to heal like this. I haven't been able to do anything all summer. I went to the beach with my friends one day which was a fiasco and caused the top hole to reopen. My parents had to drive 2 hours to come pick me up while I sat in an unairconditioned dining area of a Burger King on the boardwalk. The constant pain and itching has driven me absolutely crazy. The paranoia that there is blood on my pants or bed is awful. I never want to see anyone, and I'm alienating my own family. I don't know how much more of this I can take without losing it completely. The worst part is that I've managed to get even fatter since I can't do anything and I'm scared to do the things that I probably could do.

Cadaver Calculator

2007-07-19T04:29:00.000-04:00

$6080.00

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Blog Rating

2007-07-03T01:28:00.000-04:00

Mingle² - Online Dating

It;s been awhile...

2007-05-26T19:05:00.000-04:00

...since I've posted. I know. Not like I have a plethora of readers to please or anything. First, an update on me and my lovely pilonidal. A few of my sutures broke apart on their own. I honestly didn't even notice those. This past Sunday I had some really bad pain at the top of the incision, more pain than I had felt in the 11 days since I had the surgery. I went to my 4 year old cousin's birthday party on Saturday and I was pretty active there so I thought maybe I was just sore from it being the first time I was really up and moving around. I had my follow-up visit with my surgeon Monday morning. It was a damn good thing I did. He noticed that at the very top of the wound there was a large pocket of fluid that was ready to burst. He cut the top 2 sutures open and the next thing I feel is a rush of warm fluid running out of me. It was blood.

He had told me before the surgery that something like this could happen with all the blood rushing to heal the wound and having nowhere to go. He didn't tell me that he would be exploring it after he cut the sutures open. He was poking around searching for any sign of infection with a sharp metal thing, and I had no local anesthesia. He then packed it with dry gauze. Oh my god I don't know how I did it. He said I took the pain better than most grown men he's treated. I have visiting nurses coming out now to pack it everyday and I may be getting a wound vac. At least they pack it with WET gauze. He could've moistened the gauze for me!

Other than the craziness of having a nurse over everyday, things are pretty much the same. I was at least able to get an extension for the semester to turn in all my work. The bad part is my math instructor gave me no other options but to file a formal complaint. She claims I earned an "F" in her class and told me I had failed certain chapter tests. I looked at the online grade book and unless an 80 is failing then she's sadly mistaken. She also claimed I never turned things in and she "didn't get" my emails asking if she received the work that I sent. I hate instructors who think they are God. They always seem to be math instructors too, oddly enough. I calculated my grade based on the grade book online and I should have a high "C" or a low "B" in that class. I emailed her about it and of course she's not willing to look again or check her junk mail folder to see if the emails I sent ended up there. Good thing I have copies of all the emails I sent her and all the emails she sent me and the dates and times on all of them.

I lived!

2007-05-10T06:52:00.000-04:00

I actually went through with the surgery. It wasn't near as horrible as I thought it would be. The surgeon actually had to cut all the way down to my tail bone because the cyst was more aggressive and larger than he had originally thought. What was supposed to take 45 minutes to an hour took 2 and half hours. The breathing tube also slipped out when they were turning me, so my throat is a little bit more sore then it normally would be. The incision, from looking at the bandage, seems to be about 8 inches long. It's throbbing a little bit, but I've been taking the percocet every 4 hours to prevent any extreme pain. I haven't slept since I've been home, I'm actually a little bit scared that I'll rip out the sutures in my sleep. They assured me this wouldn't happen, but you never know with me! I'm going to make an attempt to get some sleep now, since I think I've updated everyone I needed to update about my surgery. More to come later!

2007-05-09T02:38:00.000-04:00

I have surgery at noon for my pilonidal. I'm quite nervous and scared right now. I really wasn't thinking about it until everyone started asking me if I was nervous. Of course I am now that you asked!

I really don't know what to expect with this. I've read so many horror stories from other pilonidal sufferers. The multiple surgeries, recurrence, infections, hematomas, etc. I know I won't be sitting for awhile. I got a tush cush but I sat on it today and I really don't think it's going to benefit me.

In other news, school is finally over. I'm not taking summer classes this year to give myself time to heal and hopefully get my lapband done. I spend way too much time visiting doctors and going to the hospital. Much more time than any 20 year old should. I'm also more exhausted than any 20 year old should be. I can only do so much during the day before I have to take a nap because I can't hold my eyes open anymore. I'm hoping that maybe I won't be so exhausted when I heal from this surgery, since my immune system won't be battling the constant infections. We'll see I guess.

On that note, I need to I guess get SOME sleep before I need to be at the hospital. Catch ya later! (To my one whole reader).

What Should I Do?

2007-05-07T04:24:00.000-04:00

I've been in college since Fall 2005. I started at University of Maryland at College Park. I was a psychology major and also part of the prepharmacy program. I didn't make it at Maryland for a lot of stupid reasons, most of them being my anxiety to be around anyone, and also being too overweight to walk to class without having a full blown asthma attack. I came back home and I've been attending Cecil Community College since Summer 2006. I've done really well here, even getting into our school's chapter of Phi Theta Kappa. I started at Cecil as a prepharmacy student, now I'm in web development. This spring semester has been awful for me. I can't see how I'm going to pass anything. I have no job, no income, and I live with my parents. I want to move out on my own again, I was so much happier living alone. I just have no idea what to do with my life. It really drags me down that I really have no career path right now and I'm 20 years old. I don't want to be one of those kids who change their major 50 times and don't graduate until they're 30. Anyone have any advice for me?

What a Rush

2007-05-02T01:28:00.000-04:00

Saturday morning I woke up to some stomach pain. I'm thinking oh great reflux whatever, so I take some Rolaids I had close by. Not two hours later I'm the exorcist, vomit everywhere. Now I thought OK good I ate something that didn't agree and now it's gone. HA! WRONG AGAIN! I threw up every 45 minutes from 6am until 8:30pm when I was in the ER having 2 liters of IV fluid pushed into me and getting Phenergan through the IV. It was so horrible I couldn't even hold down liquid. Acute gastroenteritis is an awful thing.

Dumb Question #1

2007-04-22T19:53:00.000-04:00

This is the first dumb question of my new dumb question series!!!!! *cheers*

Anyway...here ya go:

I'm laying on my bed, eyes open, watching discovery health.
Mom: Are you sleeping?
Me: Would I be laying here with my eyes open, watching discovery health, and answering your stupid questions if I was?
Mom: ...huh?
Me: No. I'm not sleeping.
Mom: Oh. Ok.

Me Meme

2007-04-21T17:29:00.000-04:00

*This is stolen from Tales from Health Records. Link on sidebar!*

I am thinking about: Virginia Tech

I said: wow.

I want to: Lose weight, move out of the house, graduate from college with a degree in something.

I wish: That it was snowing.

I regret: Not making more of an effort in school.

I hear: The Discovery Times Channel

I am: Tired and bored.

I dance: NEVER!

I sing: In the car and people make weird faces at me.

I cry: When I'm sad.

I am not: confident.

I write: Rarely, however I would like to write more. I used to be a gifted writer.

I confuse: Myself

I need to: Finish the schoolwork for this semester.

I tag: Anyone who reads this blog, which is probably like nobody.

Myspace Annoyance

2007-04-21T17:09:00.000-04:00

Every time I log into myspace I get a big fat warning from Myspace God Tom saying YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN PHISHED. YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE BLOCKED UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD USING THIS FORM. So I change it. My account is unblocked. Go back about 2 hours later, it's been phished AGAIN and I have to change my password AGAIN. I hate you myspace. I hate you with a passion.

Pain Part 1

2007-04-13T15:12:00.000-04:00

I wouldn't wish the pain of a pilonidal cyst on my worst enemy. That is all for now.

Insomnia

2007-04-07T05:59:00.000-04:00

It's 6am and I'm still awake. I took an ambien cr 12.5mg at around 2am I believe. Yet, here I sit. Awake. Again. I cannot sleep well at all anymore. The ambien cr doesn't put me to sleep either. I'm betting the instant releases wouldn't anymore either. I have so much to do today. I have to get easter baskets for my baby cousins, get my uncle to check out my car and figure out why it's leaking oil, buy some clothes for my fat ass since I don't fit in to many of mine anymore, get a lot of homework done, work on a 10 page term paper, then get ready for Sunday's easter dinner at my grandmother's house which is always some kind of sick adventure into hell. I just want to go to sleep! That's all I ask!

Update: I'm still awake. It's 7am. I broke an Ambien CR tab and took like a quarter of it in hopes of sleeping. I know I know, it wasn't mean to be crushed but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

So..What the hell is a pilonidal cyst?

2007-04-05T00:47:00.000-04:00

"From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

A pilonidal cyst (from Latin meaning 'hair nest') is a blanket term for any type of skin infection near the tailbone. These are normally quite painful, occur somewhat more often in men than in women, and normally happen in early adulthood. Although usually found near the tailbone, this painful condition can be found in several places, including the navel or the armpit. Development of the condition in a place other than the tailbone is exceedingly rare, however. It usually happens in young people, up to their thirties in age. Conditions in which it commonly occurs include obesity, body hair around the area in question, and a sedentary lifestyle. While a traumatic event is not believed to cause a pilonidal cyst, such an event has been known to inflame existing cysts."

It's so lovely let me tell you, and also warn you. I have apparently had this thing for YEARS. I was born with a "sacral dimple" which is exactly what it sounds like, a little dimple right at the top of my butt crack. No big deal right? A dimple is a dimple right? WRONG! My dimple is actually a pilonidal sinus cavity meaning it's basically an infected tunnel into my body.

NHS direct describes a pilonidal sinus as "a small hole or tunnel in the skin, usually at the very top of the cleft between the buttocks. Dents or pits in the skin can easily become filled with bits of skin and hair, and infected with bacteria. If the dent becomes blocked, it can get bigger, eventually forming a tunnel under the skin, filled with pus. This is known as a draining sinus or abscess."

So basically, what I thought was just a pimple that would come and go over the years was actually a cyst flaring up. This particular time it got so bad that it ruptured and became a pilonidal abscess. I finally got up the courage to see a doctor, who told me that if I had waited any longer I probably would have developed sepsis. The doctor was also shocked because I wasn't in any pain, whereas most people with this problem are in a lot of pain. They cleaned it up nice with peroxide, bactroban, and covered it with gauze. I was to be on augmentin for 10 days to clear the infection, with the dressing being changed twice every day.

I just saw my family doctor yesterday, who is referring me to a surgeon. I have to have this cyst and sinus cavity taken care of and healed before I can even think about having my lapband done. Yet another set back in my long list of setbacks. I emailed Sid Schwabb over at Surgeonsblog to see if he could blog about this for me, and he has some good knowledge of this subject as well. This is a part of his email to me:

"Once infected, a "cyst" is highly likely to reinfect; so whereas it's not mandatory to do anything about asymptomatic cysts/sinuses (meaning the initial dimple), after infection happens it's a good idea to take the plunge for curative surgery. Depending on what's done to accomplish it, there can be a pretty long healing process. A design flaw of the human body, I'd have to say. Big problems from a tiny hole!"

Couldn't have put it better myself.

When it rains it pours

2007-03-28T17:30:00.000-04:00

Well, so much for lapband surgery just yet. I have a pilonidal cyst that has to be removed first. I also have a class that I have to go get ready for so I suppose I'll update later tonight and explain exactly what a pilonidal cyst is and how my life sucks because of it. Catch ya later!

Surgery Update

2007-02-09T20:39:00.000-05:00

I saw my new surgeon today. It went OK for the most part. I've gained even more weight, at a really quick rate. I've gained 40 lbs in the past year. I don't even know how because I don't eat all that much and I don't eat anything really sugary. Who knows. Anyway, my BMI is 53 now. The surgeon said that he doesn't have much success in doing the lapband on patients with a BMI over 50. I refuse to do the gastric bypass though. I don't like the idea of having my intestines rerouted. I want a reversible procedure so that if anything goes wrong I can reverse it. Seriously, which would you choose between these two?
lapba nd vs. gastric bypass

I don't want to lead a really crappy life without a possibility of reversing it if I'm constantly sick or can't get enough vitamins or any kind of weird complication like that. He agreed to do it, but now I have to see their psychiatrist to make sure I understand that it may not work out that well. He also says that I have to follow the guidelines strictly for it to work for me. Well duh! I wasn't going to get it done and then not follow any guidelines. I'm not insanely stupid. We'll see what happens. I guess I could try to start losing some weight on my own and get my BMI back down to where it was originally. I don't know how to go about that though. Any suggestions would be great!

Surgery

2007-02-04T03:06:00.000-05:00

As some of you may know, I've been in the process of getting gastric LapBand surgery for about a year now. After my first consultation, I went home and decided to wait for awhile because I was still a bit scared of surgery in itself. Then, I chickened out of my scheduled endoscopy because I was afraid of having that done too. I'd never had any procedure done that required anesthesia or putting tubes in my throat. I have an appointment with a brand new surgeon on Friday and I'm really nervous. He said he would accept the clearances I already have, unlike my current surgeon who wanted me to do everything over because they were done in July and are now over 6 months old. They were also out of network with my insurance and never told me until right when I was getting ready to schedule a date. When I called to request my medical records so I could take them to a new surgeon, they were magically back in network with my insurance company. The negotiations had just ended "moments ago". Yeah, OK, I believe you. NOT!

My mom keeps trying to talk me into having the bypass surgery instead of the lapband, but being that I'm only 19 years old and have a life ahead that hopefully includes having children, and that I don't want the insides of my body to be cut, have a complication come up, and then be pretty much screwed forever, I decided against the bypass. I know the lapband isn't going to help me lose all my weight but I do hope it'll be a stepping stone for me. Once I lose some weight I'll be able to be active like I was before and be able to work out and get the weight off that way.

Has anyone had a choice like this before? What should I do?

Depressed

2007-01-20T13:45:00.000-05:00

I've been really depressed lately. Moreso than usual. I feel like I can't do anything right, nobody likes me, and I'm just a big loser. Everyone seems to be falling in love, having babies, getting great jobs, having lots of friends, and just having great lives in general. Mine is stuck in the same place it has been for the last year and a half. I can't get my lapband surgery done for even longer now since my surgeon doesn't take my insurance anymore. I'm not hearing back from my new surgeon to schedule an appointment. I've applied to jobs that a high schooler could get, and yet I never get a call back. I'm not sure that it's ever going to be better for me.

Allow me to introduce myself

2007-01-15T04:37:00.000-05:00

First, I guess I should introduce myself, or reintroduce myself for those who already know me.
Name: Stephanie
Age: 19
Location: East Coast
Occupation: Student/Unemployed CPhT

Random Tidbits

I love animals and own 3 cats and 1 dog
I have social anxiety disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia, and depression
I am insanely overweight and am in the process of getting the LapBand procedure
I wanted a career in Pharmacy, and now I'm not so sure
I'm very sarcastic
I'm very easy to get to know